Welcome back to my website, today I am gonna write to you on a personal level. I wanted to take to you about what its like being depressed and getting through it. My life has been crappy ever since 2010 and it got really bad in 2013 on new years eve to be specific and it only got worse. I’ve spent my life depressed ever since that, writing to you now I’m still in a “depressed” state of mind. 2016 has been one of the worst years for me, I had self harmed again and the last time I self-harmed was in 2014. Rather than moving forward with my life I’ve only managed to go down. There’s been several times in my life where I’ve considered to suicide, I’ve prayed to god to not let me wake up the next day so basically telling to let me die. I think that I wake up and get up and do the things I need to do and sleep. I think that with my depression I haven’t done anything to treat it. I talk to know one, I sleep a lot, I become lazy and I’m aware but choose to act like there’s nothing wrong. 2017 I want too be happier, I don’t want to be the same person I was before. Reflecting on myself a year ago its needless to say that I was a much happier person a year ago than I am now. And I have to ask myself why is that? Why am I a less happier? Shouldn’t I be happier, I’ve hit a lot of milestones in 2016 and I thinking back on those milestones I don’t consider them good anymore. In fact I blame those “milestones” and wish I had my “normal life” where life was so much easier. I mean I wasn’t happy then but it was bearable. I’ve now learned that, that’s not the way to live and no one and including myself should not live this way. As you may notice I’m posting more on my blog and that’s because I find writing such a therapeutic thing for me. My life isn’t perfect and it will never be but I have the power to make changes in my life to make the environment I live in a much safer and positive place.
-Just hold on God will give you strength-